I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
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Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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