just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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