It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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