You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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