Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
