By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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