Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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