Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
