that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
