We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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