Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think your dad took our porno
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
