My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
