He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
