he wants to bone in the snuggie
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
