Porn is love you can see.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
