You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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