i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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