Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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