I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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