the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize