I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
