She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
