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• (248): View more from Michigan

  just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy

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• (207): View more from Maine

  No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.

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• (909): View more from California

  i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups

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• (727): View more from Florida

  She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (818): View more from California

  Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad

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• (714): View more from California

  Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.

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