It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt