Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI

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(415): I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI http://tfl.nu/f789

Replies (3) Good night (967) Bad night (828)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"

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(860): I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober" http://tfl.nu/f99j

Replies (19) Good night (1535) Bad night (3321)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.

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(610): i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops. http://tfl.nu/1s76

Replies (59) Good night (3718) Bad night (1138)
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(708): View more from Illinois

she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.

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(708): she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween. http://tfl.nu/3m71

Replies (22) Good night (6735) Bad night (631)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"

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(203): all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober" http://tfl.nu/2nrl

Replies (19) Good night (951) Bad night (4177)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

you tipped EVERY employee at white castle

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(732): you tipped EVERY employee at white castle http://tfl.nu/d5zv

Replies (15) Good night (6439) Bad night (1065)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.

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(910): I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him. http://tfl.nu/a5tc

Replies (12) Good night (1522) Bad night (2447)
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(313): View more from Michigan

We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.

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(313): We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn. http://tfl.nu/k4mq

Replies (28) Good night (1604) Bad night (3524)
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(229): View more from Georgia

dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes

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(229): dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes http://tfl.nu/v2kt

Replies (2) Good night (773) Bad night (1441)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.

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(225): I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left. http://tfl.nu/d68g

Replies (24) Good night (3626) Bad night (1550)
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(315): View more from New York

im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.

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(315): im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass. http://tfl.nu/ll9k

Replies (4) Good night (633) Bad night (977)
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(616): View more from Michigan

my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!

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(616): my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES! http://tfl.nu/l6hp

Replies (5) Good night (642) Bad night (785)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

did you know we used to have a pool?

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(306): mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived (306): did you know we used to have a pool? http://tfl.nu/0ssr

Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (624)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.

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(864): The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you. http://tfl.nu/8tcy

Replies (3) Good night (693) Bad night (233)
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(716): View more from New York

I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.

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(716): I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it. http://tfl.nu/kwjo

Replies (5) Good night (210) Bad night (267)

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