OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time