Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day

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(516): View more from New York

Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.

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(217): View more from Illinois

i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(803): View more from South Carolina

A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.

Fav 11 4910 1993
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(208): View more from Idaho

We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground

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(260): View more from Indiana

He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.

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(631): View more from New York

He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background

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(820): View more from

Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets

(816): View more from Missouri

Me and I got head

Fav 5 81 6
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