Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So how was he last night?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
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you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
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so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions