Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him

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  (484): he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him http://tfl.nu/d2zc
  Replies (83) Good night (1017) Bad night (4052)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face

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  (630): Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face http://tfl.nu/tdg0
  Replies (28) Good night (3030) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.

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  (623): I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again. http://tfl.nu/xgq4
  Replies (22) Good night (4168) Bad night (697)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?

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  (716): Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil? http://tfl.nu/jfob
  Replies (14) Good night (7632) Bad night (1136)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?

  (713): View more from Texas

  lets deal with that after we figure out where i am

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  (832): why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen? (713): lets deal with that after we figure out where i am http://tfl.nu/0phs
  Replies (21) Good night (11025) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.

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  (702): Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent. http://tfl.nu/4is5
  Replies (20) Good night (5405) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.

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  (519): Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid. http://tfl.nu/3gm4
  Replies (9) Good night (2532) Bad night (737)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.

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  (212): Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend. http://tfl.nu/uai9
  Replies (6) Good night (2173) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents

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  (814): the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents http://tfl.nu/oebu
  Replies (3) Good night (1902) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.

  (917): View more from New York City

  that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.

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  (917): sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride. (917): that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks. http://tfl.nu/bp4f
  Replies (3) Good night (1567) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??

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  (850): Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper?? http://tfl.nu/82gs
  Replies (6) Good night (1576) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness

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  (503): He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness http://tfl.nu/9fad
  Replies (2) Good night (650) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!

  (1-212): View more from New York

  That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.

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  (212): Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?! (1-212): That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready. http://tfl.nu/5w6l
  Replies (0) Good night (506) Bad night (170)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth

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  (203): Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth http://tfl.nu/ampl
  Replies (3) Good night (410) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here

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  (602): The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here http://tfl.nu/0qqg
  Replies (4) Good night (761) Bad night (155)

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