You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Someone came in the potted fern
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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