guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize