you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
