she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
