I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize