I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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