I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
