If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize