The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
