yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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