my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Who died my cat blue again?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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