Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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