I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
