I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
