Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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