Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
