their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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