Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
