so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We need a shit load of segways right now
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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