And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
