Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dignity is for republicans.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
