Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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