I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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