Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
