420 ftw
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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