i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
