Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
