So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
