Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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