If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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