Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
