found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
