Im at strip club and am horny
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
