Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
