Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
