Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
